Lower Your Defenses
Feb 21, 2022
There are a few specific moments in life when you are exhaling that you feel amazing. There is no coincidence in this as exhalation is relaxation, but it’s also more than that. It’s an expression of relief, peace, and joy.
And it is relief, peace, and joy that can be found in these moments:
- Blowing out birthday candles. Pre-Covid, this was an act that brought joy to millions. And how could it not? It’s a celebration of life, the life of the one who is being honored. You will be hard-pressed to find a person blowing out birthday candles who is not entrapped in joy and peace. Being surrounded by love, blowing out birthday candles in a true exhalation of celebration. It even brings warmth and peace to those who are watching.
- Blowing bubbles. Whether you’re a kid learning to blow bubbles, or you’re an adult teaching the wonder of bubbles to a child, there is nothing more peace-filled than blowing bubbles. The soft, steady exhalation through pursed lips that seems to coax a gigantic bubble is a soothing breath that literally creates wonder right in front of your eyes. The stronger, pointed pursed flow that delivers a stream of hundreds of bubbles with rainbow swirls invites every child to dance in their midst. Blowing bubbles always calms the blower at the same time that it begs them to engage in the wonderment it creates.
- Whistling. If you’re whistling, you’re probably pretty relaxed and perhaps even overflowing with joy. Whistling comes from a merry heart and yet whistling helps produce a merry heart. You’ll probably never see an angry person whistling out a melodic tune. Yet, if you see a person whistling, you’re probably seeing a twinkle in the eyes and a spring in the step. Whistling is an exhalation of jubilee.
- Laughter. Laughter is GOOD medicine. Authentic laughter, the deep kind that comes from the center of your soul. This is the type of laughter that shakes and quakes your whole body. What happens is your diaphragm pulses up and down so hard it literally shakes all the stress and tension out of both your mind and body. Laughter restores you and regenerates you; it is a powerful healing movement that we have all been given. Sadly, almost none of us use it. We are too tight, too serious, and too guarded. But genuine laughter begs us to simply let go of all of our cares and defenses. It is a joy that literally wants to shake the tension right out of you so that you can be YOU.
Anyway, these are just a few of the examples of moments when our exhalation brings us relief, peace, and joy. These moments often happen on certain occasions when we decide to let our guards down and become vulnerable. The sad truth of these wonderful movements is that they should not be the exceptions or rare occasions but rather the way of our continual state of being.
Every exhalation we let go of is designed to flush us with peace, comfort, relief, and joy. But most of us don’t really let go when we exhale. We hold onto things: fears, resentments, opinions, wounds, hurts, “wrongs,” etc. And by holding onto these things, we hold onto everything, even our breath. We don’t want to be vulnerable so we can’t let go, and so we can’t be free. And this is what makes us vulnerable…
But our design is freedom. Our design is joy. We are made to let go of things: our cares, our pasts, our breaths… It is in a true exhalation that peace and joy are found. And every breath we set free, the ones we really let go, holds this promise of peace and joy. That’s what makes blowing bubbles and candles and whistling tunes so powerful; they distract us enough to allow ourselves to let go. That’s also why you never feel more alive than when you laugh so hard you can’t breathe, you’ve literally shaken all your cares away and you are filled with amazing joy. That’s also why you can’t control a genuine soul-centered laugh, it’s exponential joy wanting to erupt out of your essence. It’s wonderful, especially when it’s with a friend.
What I’m saying is true, but it’s not very easy to lay aside our cares and truly let our exhalations go. Our stored up thoughts and emotions create a guarded system. BUT, we can deliberately engage in activities that distract our defenses. We can go for a walk and whistle a tune. We can buy some bubbles and set aside time to create whimsy. And we can call a good friend to hear a voice that loves to say funny things.
Another thing we can do is move. Spending time doing certain movements, lowers our defenses. When we move often, we begin to move well. When we move well, we feel good. When we feel good, we relax our guard. This is why I love rolling and rocking for 10 minutes at a time. It lowers my defenses and I always feel better.
If we are deliberate enough, if we distract our defenses enough, we can eventually become addicted to the peace and joy it brings. This can give us a foothold in learning how to become vulnerable so that we can become invulnerable. After all, if we learn to let our exhalations bring us peace and joy, we can experience our true invulnerability - we can truly live.
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