The Joy of Cows
Aug 20, 2022
It’s been an interesting week. I just got home from dropping my oldest son off at college. He is now a sophomore. Thursday, I took my youngest son up to his new home in Virginia. He is now a freshman in college. So here I am out on my back porch watching cows eat grass. My wife is lying down in the bedroom. We are tired, a little empty, a little numb, and a lotta sad.
It’s a weird sad. I’m happy for my children and the adventures their lives await, but at the same time I am sad that the chapters I’ve had with them, here in my home have ended. And it’s also weird because I have this nagging “now what are you going to do” question bouncing around in my head.
Now what…?
I guess I practice what I know to do.
Breathe, be thankful, and let the sadness run its course.
I’ve been breathing long and slow lately with a lot of sighs mixed in. The sighs help to let go of some of the mounting tension laced with memories and uncertainties. Right now, focusing on my breath seems like the best thing I can do - physically.
And I’m thankful. I’ve been blessed to be a part of the lives of two wonderful young men. They are my children, but they are also so much more than that. They’re my best friends, and in many ways, they are my heroes. Just knowing them makes me want to be a better person. Not because I want to set an example for them, but because they have set one for me. The way they approach life is inspiring to me - I’ve learned so much from them.
I know this sadness will run its course and as it leaves it will invite a wonderful newness I don’t even know about. Hopefully I’ll get to see the wonderful things my boys end up doing. Maybe I’ll get to explore a whole new relationship with my wife. Maybe I’ll even write a new book or three, or come up with another 200 ways to roll around on the floor.
Anyway, for right now, I’m sitting here watching the cows eat grass. I find the peacefulness of it very comforting. It seems to say, “Everything is going to be okay.”
And it is.
Everything around us will change. It’s inevitable. The weather, our thoughts, our bodies, our kids, our jobs, the economy, the borders of nations - it all changes. Change is a constant. It’s also a guide. It teaches us to be flexible, to be humble, to be patient, and to be kind.
Many of our problems come because we resist Change; we fight it. When all along, we are supposed to flow with it and let it guide us from season to season, moment to moment, breath to breath. Again, Change is our guide, our teacher.
What is the lesson it teaches?
Acceptance.
Acceptance of what is, right now. All the while knowing that this too shall pass because Change will always run its course. It will always flow on. If we learn how to ride the flow, we can have a life of immense joy. If we constantly resist the flow, we will have a life of immense suffering.
Some how, the cows are telling me to choose joy. I want to do that. I think we all should.
Let us Moooove on, my friends.
Comments (9)
Laurie:
Aug 23, 2022 at 12:42 AM
“…a wonderful newness I don’t even know about…”thank you for sharing your thoughts Tim. As always, I am struck by something you said and so grateful for it. That sentence humbled me completely. I don’t know if I have ever sat in a change long enough to get that “I really don’t know” and don’t have to predict, scramble, push the next thing…I could wait to be guided instead. That frees up a lot of energy! Blessings to you and your family.
Tim Anderson:
Aug 23, 2022 at 12:52 AM
Thanks for sharing this Laurie. I’m so glad it resonated with you. I’ve been told there is infinite strength in waiting. I’m looking for it!
Maik:
Aug 28, 2022 at 08:14 AM
Wonderful. Everything changes except one. It is the "room" in which we create our thoughts, feel our feelings, make our descisions. This never changes and it is worth looking for. Maybe we can experience the existence of our (absolute) self sometimes.
Tim Anderson:
Aug 28, 2022 at 10:10 AM
Beautiful. That is the hope. To experience our absolute self. ????
John Colaneri:
Aug 28, 2022 at 08:08 PM
Tim, thanks for sharing: your post really highlights the practice of being open; the strength in vulnerability; the importance of striving to "be like water."
What really resonated with me through this post is the idea that remaining open to change is a practice, one that requires a lifetime of mindful attention to continually reset our course with the changing winds and tides -- to borrow the life is like sailing analogy.
I've been thinking about this a lot lately in my work with persistent pain patients, in my studies of Narrative Medicine, and in my personal life (everything from movement practice to running to training to being mindful). Practice is a framework, a structured approach, of sorts. Structure can be supportive. Too much structure can be limiting: walls that confine us rather than protect us. So, practicing ways to remain open to change can help us to explore and experience all of the beauty of life, capital L; however, being too rigid with adhering to the structure of practice itself can serve to limit our openness.
Finding that balance is so complex, so subjective from person to person, so difficult...and yet, it is the magic of our lives! The journey, not the destination...as long as the journey continues, we're all good :-) Sending you and your family good energy in this time of change. Thanks for sharing your journey with us.
Tim Anderson:
Aug 28, 2022 at 08:12 PM
John,
What you've written here is beautiful. THIS is the practice of life. You've nailed it. What you've written is the teaching. Thank you so much. ???? x 1000!
John Colaneri:
Aug 28, 2022 at 08:25 PM
Tim, I'm inspired by -- and filled with gratitude for -- the incredible energy and community you have fostered and shared with us over the years. You have helped so many people to discover better lives! Thank YOU x 1,000,000...
You have my support in any way that I can ever be of service.
Jim:
Sep 02, 2022 at 07:09 PM
I have twin daughters that will going away to college in the fall of 2023. I'm already sad, lol.
John:
Sep 30, 2022 at 04:17 PM
Don't worry Tim. They go away but they ALWAYS come back and bring more with them...LOL.
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